In our society[I], a woman’s human worth is correlated to the basis with her current relationship status, viz her present social-romantic-sexual relationship to a man. The first step is to know what her standing is in a relationship at present with such a man – Does she have a boyfriend? Is she married? Is she single? Is she trying to get that young man she works with to like her, ask her out? Is she trying to meet someone? Is she trying to make her boyfriend propose to her? etc; etc; etc. Women can never be judged of themselves, what they are as individual humans, or something that is related accordingly only within the confines of their sole individual womanly humanly self. But on the contrary, they are to be judged by the men they are involved with, thus their connection to men; that’s an important thing to notice, which cannot be overemphasised. And because of this strong correlation, a woman obviously places her sexual-romantic life far higher up the list of priorities than she ought to healthily do: you can see this clearly with the cultural propaganda directed at women, ie with movies that have the female-protagonist’s life run entirely by her prospect of ‘a relationship’ with a man… with very-unhealthily little concentration paid to the other aspects as her life. Bridget Jones’s Diary was the ultimate version of this, which has spawned dozens upon dozens of others that follow the exact same sociological principles and plot formula. To repeat, if you ever meet a woman, the first step is to know of what relationship she holds with a man; that piece of information must be gathered immediately upon meeting her – what she does herself, as a singular human woman, is totally irrelevant. The judgement of a woman has nothing to do with her as a woman self.
And the second step is to use that information to assess what kind of a human she is. Society’s judgements of ‘the kind of human she is’ isn’t messing about with dandelions and cupcakes: there are very serious ramifications for those women who are deemed to be in the incorrect sexual-romantic relationship. It is make or break for most of them, with misery and pain awaiting those who fail to pass the test of being deemed a genuinely ‘adequate woman’.
A woman who is single[II] – doesn’t have a boyfriend or a husband or male partner, etc – is, by the rules governed of our society, utterly useless and pathetic. There is just such a myriad of dismal negativity that surrounds her humanity. She is an inadequate person, drowning in her own defects and flaws and her nothingness. She is just a waste of space, no one cares about her and she is totally undesirable in every sense of the word. That is all true, not because of something this woman did or said, but simply because she doesn’t have a male partner; the direct correlation warrants no less. She is effectively non-existent as there is no function she can serve because no man wishes to be with her; lying in bed by herself is no different that the bed being empty. And eventually that effective non-existence will become literal: She is at home, sitting on the couch watching a movie; minute by minute her body is ageing and decomposing and crumbling away; it won’t be long before she becomes old and ugly, making it impossible for any man ever to like her, making even hope-beyond-hope of her finding a man gone.
Why do single women feel non-existent? This is a very straightforward point that must get drilled into the minds of every woman in our society – You are a woman, and since you don’t have a male partner, you are a worthless human being. The emptiness and non-existence that surrounds single women is not to do with their lack of conversation or hugs; but directly and powerfully related to the truth that women without male partners are pathetic and useless.
The following quote is expressing the sort feelings that all single women are supposed to be feeling all the time:
‘“I hate being single. I hate going to parties alone. I hate sleeping alone. I hate waking up alone. I hate knowing that every single errand I have to do, I’m going to do alone. I hate not having sex. I hate cooking for one and shopping for one. I hate going to weddings. I hate people asking me why I’m still single. I hate my birthday because I’m single. I hate having to thinking about possibly being a single mother because I’m single.”’
This was taken from a very popular and woman-readership oriented book, He’s Just Not That into You; it’s a book that has a direct and profitable agenda when it directs itself towards making women feel certain feelings; those feelings all are conveniently correlated with reaffirming woman-fetishism upon those willing to pick the book and read it. And certainly for the writers, Behrendt and Tuccilo, spreading and intensifying the sentiment of ‘fear of single-hood’ is definitely a part of their scheme – they have both made themselves incredibly wealthy, being writers and thinkers, all through spreading their propaganda to a wide audience of women.
Here’s a quote from another very popular book, that’s sold countless tens of thousands of copies, Playing Hard to Get:
‘[T]he reason why so many women’s magazines sell millions of copies around the world is that they prey on our insecurities. That’s how powerful those insecurities are – and they live deep down (for some of us not so deep) inside us and rear their hideous little heads every day in one way or another. Sometimes the pain of that can get so bad that dating turns into the hardest thing in the world… Sometimes it may be your family giving you a hard time, pressuring you for marriage – grandkids – I know it’s hard to stand up to them… You are never the only one eaten up with crappy thoughts that all hope is lost when it comes to dating or meeting anyone.’
Emily MaGuire – who did not write a relationship book, doesn’t deliberately write books to make women feel miserable and horrible about themselves and their singleness; but, on the contrary, has written a book trying to fight back against this trend and set an alternative tone towards women are their sexual-romantic relationships – wrote the following:
‘Access to contraception and abortion means the unmarried woman can enjoy sex without fear of pregnancy or disease; access to a wider range of education and career opportunities means she need not rely on a husband to put a roof over her head and food on the table. And, just as today’s professional woman is not confined to the role of teacher, nun or nurse, today’s single woman does not create a scandal if she decides to eat out, take a holiday or buy a house all alone. Being single today is nowhere near the social and financial nightmare it was even thirty-five years ago… Single women are [considered – by people of the likes of Behrendt, Tuccilo, Dye and Pan – to be] husband-stealers, home-wreckers or emasculating bitches. Or they are lonely, pathetic, cat-owning, pillow-embroidering spinsters.’
Cold and outside
For younger and middle aged women, the key emotion to go alongside fear is anxiety. Women, while constantly feeling empty over not currently having a male partner, need to feel anxious about what the future may hold. There is still time for them to find a man; there’s still hope; their bodies haven’t totally decomposed yet; they are still young and pretty enough to find someone. But they need to do it as quickly as possible, because otherwise ‘that opportunity might not come back again for a long time,’ if ever. Women are always warned, by the likes of Behrendt and Tuccilo, that ‘[t]here aren’t that many good men around’. As a way of applying a threatening motivation behind them to push them forward, women are always told in blatant terms that: ‘[I]t’s cold outside’ in the world of being a single, useless and pathetic woman. It’s cold; you are outside.
Cold is a very accurate word. When a commodity is left to rot, it is dumped in the back-alley behind a store, or in the river, or in the garbage bin, or thrown away into some dank and uninviting hole of the world. Nothing could be more accurate than describing that than as cold. It’s not enough to just have abstract concepts like useless or pathetic to describe a woman’s existence, because they won’t work on their own. In order to indoctrinate women into this obsessive need to find a boyfriend, there needs to be physical emotions associated with it; humans are very smart creatures, and so it’ll never be enough to merely order them around with empty abstract threats. But when actual emotions get connected with the desired behaviour, then it’s possible to control and manipulate the humans – if a woman is able to associate the bad feelings that come with being cold (shivering skin, tense muscles, her entire body aching for warmth, a deep darkness inside of her heart, etc) along with the feelings of being single (no one sitting beside you, having nobody to talk to, no one to physically comfort or pleasure you, etc), then the fear of single-hood can work. Meld it all together and we have women who can literally rip their entire lives apart in their pursuit to finding a boyfriend – and trust me, women have literally destroyed themselves, killed themselves, because of this anxiety of single-hood, a longing for a boyfriend, a longing for ending their pathetic and useless current status, a longing for getting out of their current cold world, etc.
The other word in that quote was outside, which is extremely clear too: when a woman doesn’t have a boyfriend or husband, is not possessed by any man, then she is outside of respectable society. Rotting fruit is thrown in to the dumpster, which is far away from the fresh and buyable fruits in the supermarket. Now for women, this rejection may not be a physical recoil, a woman is not thrown out of her home or out of their community or anything like that, but there is certainly a lot of social and cultural ways of making sure women feel outside, such as not being invited to things, having people gossip about her behind her back, or even the most subtle things such as being unable to make conversation with the girlfriends, wives and wives-to-be that she meets at social events, etc. All it takes is a brief look at the mainstream entertainment – movies and novels are where the powerful ruling class elites are able to impose certain cultural and societal values onto the population – to see how single women are beyond respectable. The protagonist is a woman who goes on a plot-based journey toward finding a man; never a single woman going on some non-sexual-romantic journey. It’s perfectly legitimate to write a story about a bicycle that comes out of the factory, all nice and new, and goes on a journey to finding a little boy that will come to own it; it’s not legitimate to write a story about a bicycle that lives a happy life without any little boy owner at all. Hence, single women being as they are, single women, is outside of respectable society; the only acceptable type of single woman allowed is one who is trying to amend her current situation, by taking actions in the pursuit of locating a man; in other words, the only good kind of single woman is self-hating single woman.
These sentiments don’t begin when a woman is a fully-grown human female – they begin as soon as possible, in high school, in primary school, in kindergarten, before they have a chance to create any sort of identity for themselves or understand how the world actually works. The romantic movies are simply there to reinforce the ideas that women already have in their head – a single woman is pathetic and missing and lonely, and then along comes a man to own her, and once she is owned she can live a good, proper life; the Little Mermaid; Sleeping Beauty. But they have to begin as early as possible; and so getting little girls to read books about fairy princesses and prince charmings and castle dungeons, and such, is very important for their development into the women they will become. Barbie, on her own, is simply incomparable to having both Barbie and Ken – by herself, she is just so limited and the fun restricted; but when Barbie and Ken are together, the ability for childhood fun and games can reach its peak. In the end, Sleeping Beauty is asleep, and can only ever be awoken when finally a man comes to rescue and own her; a single woman is always useless and pathetic, that is until she finally finds a man who is willing to own her, become her boyfriend, and thus to ‘fix her’ of her deficiencies.
And that way, by the time women are in high school, they are so heavily indoctrinated that certain emotions come instantly without any understanding of why or how; they get driven into an almost involuntary status. In her book, Ariel Levy interviewed young women, and noted that among them there was this compulsive desire for male attraction. This was not a sexual attraction, they said so themselves, nor was it a romantic attraction, but there was a seriously powerful urge inside of them to get a boyfriend and to be desired and owned by a man, ‘to be fixed’ by having a boyfriend. I want the boys to like me; it makes me feeling good when a boy wants to be near me, to touch me; it feels good to be desired; etc. One of those young women was Anne, attending high-school at the time of the interview, who told Levy:
‘“For me it’s all attached to guys,” [Anne] said. “Like I have this weird link between certain guys and my own self-worth. It’s like the skinnier I can be, the more they’ll like me… I get really upset when guys find girls really attractive. Because I want the attention… [B]ut I wanted guys to want me, to want to hook up with me, I guess… even though I didn’t want to hook up with them. I always wanted all the guys to think I was the hottest one.”’
Can anyone honestly read that quote and make sense of Anne? This young woman is clearly a jumbled brain of propaganda, indoctrination, and the same doses of humanity that lay inside her still – she cannot understand her feelings, and come to explain them in an interview, and she certainly cannot come to clearly and coherently explain why she feels this way about boys. Without any logical explanation, she is left lost and confused… like so many young women across our society currently are. There’s a weird link between guys and her own self-worth? These are the same emotions as other women experience, only this is in its infancy. Once is develops, and once more propaganda gets into her brain, once she starts reading more women’s magazines and a few romantic novels, soon she will feel as miserable and depressed as every other single adult woman in our society is. And then the cycle will have produced its next generation of alienated, confused, pathetic, useless, cold, anxious women.
 Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo – He’s Just Not That Into You – page 173
 Dr Cindy Pan and Bianca Dye – Playing Hard to Get – pages 55 and 57-8
 Emily MaGuire – Princesses and Pornstars – page 88
 Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo – He’s Just Not That Into You – page 22
 Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo – He’s Just Not That Into You – page 34
 Ariel Levy – Female Chauvinist Pigs – pages 153 and 152
[I] By society, I do not mean the demographic population; the average working class door-by-door people; the great mass of the society’s people; they are not the society. The society are the people who control the intellectual and culture fields; who run the media, the education system, the entertainment industry, the parliamentary pseudo-political field, etc; they are the ruling class.
It is the ruling class that dominates over the ideas that a society may have, and so when I say things of a society, I mean that the ruling class has imposed them upon us. They want working class people to think certain thoughts and feel certain feelings, and so they’ll use their immense powers to indoctrinate and brainwash the masses.
As Marx put it: ‘The ideas of the ruling class are, in every age, the ruling ideas: i.e. the class which is the dominant material force in society is at the same time its dominant intellectual force. The class which has the means of material production at is disposal, has control at the same time over the means of mental production, so that in consequence the ideas of those who lack the means of mental production are, in general, subject to it. The dominant ideas are nothing more than the ideal expression of the dominant material relationships, the dominant material relationships grasped as ideas, and thus of the relationships which make one class the ruling one; they are consequently the ideas of its dominance.’ (Karl Marx – The German Ideology – 1845-6)
Normal door-by-door working class people do not see a correlation between a woman’s human worth and her relationship status – the ruling class do see this – and they use their immense power of the media, education, etc, to try to indoctrinate everyone into being the same.
[II] Single is the term used to describe someone who is not in a monogamous sexual-romantic relationship; not within a relationship, a person in single. That term’s definition, just from a humanist perspective, is ridiculously bizarre – because it implies that sexual-romance is the most important, if not only, form of human sociology that matters, which is a discrediting of friendships and social leisure. From the point of view of manipulation and propaganda, it’s a very clever term, namely that being by yourself makes you without other people around you. The term, linguistically, also has certain connotations, of which are directly related to the principles of woman-fetishism that I am to be discussing.